The other day I went rollerskating with a friend. It wasn't the best experience I've ever had, I have to admit.
Before my friend and I ventured off to the local park, my friend had asked me whether I could skate or not. Me being me said I can thinking roller skating would be EASY. I have roller skated with friends once before and that went all right aside from the bit when I tripped over a little kid.
We got to the park and my friend gave me rather big, inline skates. I tried to put my skates on looking like a pro, but I think I failed to do so when I hopped around all over the place and held onto a tree for fear that I would end up flat on my bum. With the skates on, my friend and I headed to the concrete path in the park. My friend went ahead like a true pro on the skates. I, however, struggled to even walk to the path in them let alone actually skate in them. 'Come on!' my friend said to me. I said 'Ok! I'm just getting used to these skates! I'm not used to inline skates!'. I then realized that I couldn't skate as I put one foot on the path and nearly went flying forward. There was no getting out of it now though. I tried my best to skate but I only went falling over on my bum. I retreated back to the safety of the grass as my friend started to skate on. I held on to a bench for dear life. My friend turned round, looked at me and came over to the bench. 'What are you doing?' she asked. Me, making things a whole lot worse for myself said 'I'm just warming up'. 'By holding onto a bench?' she asked in reply. 'Yeah, I like to hold on to something whilst I warm up' I said almost convincingly. 'Ok that's enough warming up now' She said and I did a nervous laugh and said 'Ok' as I let go of the bench.
My friend went skating ahead on the path and I went onto the path but fell forward as I couldn't work out how on earth to actually skate properly. I tried again. And again. But I fell over onto my knees. My friend was way ahead now, skating round the path without me. 'Oh great' I thought. I then walked on the grass again and sat down. I then tried to skate back to the entrance of the park but I fell over about 10 times, each time landing in the soil and dirt. I also then realized that I had fallen into some poo on the grass and that it was all over my hand and my nice new jeans. My nice new jeans! 'Great!' I thought. 'Just great!' I then saw that there was a little kid just stood next to me, giggling and pointing at me, ridiculing me as I fell over again as I tried to get to the entrance of the park. I was on my knees now, crawling across the muddy grass as the kid laughed at the sight of a teenager who couldn't skate crawling on their knees, covered in mud. I felt a bit humiliated, I have to admit, and I don't like being humiliated. My friend then skated over to me and asked what the hell I was doing. I then said said that I was trying to skate.
She then said to me 'You can't skate! Why did you say you could when I asked you earlier? You've just wasted my time'. I then replied, as I tried to wipe the poo off my hand with a leaf, 'because I thought I could skate. I thought it would be easy. I'm sorry! It's quite funny isn't it really? Did you see me falling over? That kid over there found it hilarious. It was quite hilarious.' My friend wasn't laughing though. She just looked embarrassed to be with me. I carried on talking. 'It's just these inline skates' I said 'I prefer the 4 wheel ones'. I don't quite know why I said this, probably because I wanted to prove that I wasn't actually a complete fail at skating. My friend then gave me her 4 wheel skates. I put them on and had a go at skating with them. I tried but nearly fell over again. At this point I was just laughing at myself. I then realized I was slowly going backwards down the concrete slope, as cars were trying to come up the slope. 'Oh %$*!' I thought and dived to the safety of the grass. My friend looked at me with a smile, this time trying not to laugh. 'You really are a numpty' she said. 'A numpty who can't skate!' I replied. 'You are really rubbish at skating' she said. 'Ok! ok! I know that now!' feeling a bit degraded but nevertheless still laughing at the whole thing.
I now realize that I'm certainly no pro at rollerskating and I don't think my friend will want to go rollerskating with me again.
Blog again soon! ;)