Friday, 1 April 2016

The Attack of the Seagulls- Why you should never eat a subway meal in a park

Angry Seagull, courtesy of Pixabay

It was a nice, sunny midday and me and my brother had decided to go and walk to subway, get a six inch sub meal and then eat it in the local park for lunch.

It was all going very well indeed. We had got our subway meals without any fuss whatsoever (one time we didn't have the right amount of money and the staff behind the counter was absolutely furious with us) and we had walked out of subway very happy. We found a nice bench in the local park and began to eat our subways which were very tasty indeed (mmm BBQ sauce) as we sat, talked and peacefully watched people walk through the park. 

Then, out of nowhere it seemed, a little, rather cute looking seagull waddled along the grass to stand next to the bench me and my brother just so happened to be sat on enjoying our lunch. My brother noticed the seagull and said 'ah look at him' as the seagull did little walks back and forth. I knew this seagull was only here to get his beak on some of our food so I ignored him. Then, just as I had finished my subway sandwhich and was about to start on the cookie, whilst sipping my drink, a few more seagulls came into view and started hovering menacingly over the bench. My brother hadn't even finished his sandwhich yet (he's a slow eater) and he was just trying to enjoy it whilst a few more seagulls hovered, eyeing up his sandwich like the target of the year. 

Next thing I know, the bench and the area around it had become a war zone. About 10 or more seagulls had surrounded us and every single one of them were chirping madly and still eyed my brother's sandwhich. They flew madly over our heads in a gang, whilst the first little seagull, who I presumed initiated 'operation get the sandwhich' stayed next to the bench, giving us the evils as his hench men tried to nick our lunch. I then found myself shouting to my brother 'quickly eat your sandwhich' over the raging noise of the seagulls. He then shouted 'I'm trying!'. Just then, a seagull had swooped down, just missing my brother's sandwhich. I then shouted with dramatic effect 'RUN!!!!'. We started running as the seagulls crowded in on the bench or flew after us, only to realise that we had left the cookies on the bench  which were inches away from the seagulls' beaks. I then shouted 'GET THE COOKIES!' as my brother, who was nearer the bench tried to quickly save them from the gang of seagulls. He managed to quickly get them and we continued to run up the path shouting our heads off. 

Whilst running, I looked up and saw the seagulls flying after me and my brother. They were violently angry and by the sounds and looks of it, extremely hungry. I then looked behind me, only to see my brother, who was still holding onto his subway sandwhich for dear life, the cookies in his other hand. My brother was surrounded by seagulls now, and they flew inches away from his head. My brother shouted in shock, as he tried to outrun the seagulls. Quite frankly, my brother looked like he would **** himself. I decided to keep running for my life up the tarmac path, leaving my brother behind to almost tackle the seagulls. I shouted back at him 'come on! Quick!' as I realised some of the seagulls were giving up. My brother and I were making quite an exhibition but I kept on running, shouting and at this point laughing hysterically. 

Me and my brother retreated to a grassy area at the side of the park where we realised that we had escaped the wild torments of most of the violent seagulls. A few were still left, hovering behind us in a last chance to take our cookies as my brother had finally finished his sandwhich in the rush to safety, his hands covered in BBQ sauce which had gone everywhere. We then realised that the seagulls could still fly after us and we didn't want to risk going back to the bench, so we continued to walk briskly home, looking back as we did in fear that the seagulls had flown up to us again. 

It was a very hilarious moment and perhaps a very horrifyingly dramatic one too! Never again will me and my brother eat our subway meal on the bench of the local park although my brother did later admit that he had fed the small seagull a bit of his sandwhich (he will never do a stupid thing like that again). Anyway, I must say it was a very exhilarating and funny experience I will probably never forget. 

Writing again soon,
EJ